Friday, 27 June 2008

• New Beginnings uhm Take 2?

  Sorry about my last blog- got some hatemail from a few of you. I will try not to mix alcohol and writing in the future- or at least keep it in moderation.

  So what is a blog- "on ongoing narrative - a series of events that follows another series of events...." SO basically what I had been doing was shit. I now have reason to write- I need the mental exercise. lets just say these lines are warm up swings.... Many of you have enjoyed some or my short stories on here but truth be told I am very out of practice. I need some stimulation to return to my prolific ways.

  So what to do- for those of you that have the great displeasure of knowing me personally you know that my daily existence is a train wreck, hazmat spill, and a 70's raunchy porno with a LOT of bush!

  seee. Shit .. I just got kicked out of my bed because obviously my typing is too damn noisy!!! Soooo let me save here run over to the office and start penning away again.... be back kids.......

  
  Ok so now I am back for a bit. I probably gave you a little bit of time to start doubting the fact that I live such a crazy life. Well I don't know how crazy crazy is but it has been entertaining to say the least. I think My life has been on par with most it is just most people forget the funny stuff and dwell on the shitty stuff. Let me think if I can share a lil anecdote with you guys to set the stage---
  
  A few months back I decided to be a little daring and bump into one of you pervs in person. I mean all the teasing and double entendres got me all worked up so I figured what the heck. She was cute enough and quirky in her ways, she was always quick to post about my blogs and excitedly took to chatting me up on messenger. It was a thrill sharing my work with someone in near real time.
  We teased each other about chatting over drinks- she said she wasn't a big drinker <uh huh> so I suggested coffee or whatever... Well we went round and round for a while on this. I suspected that she thought I was some pervy old guy and being that she was a coed well hey you can't be too safe these days.
  One evening was the turning point. She sent me some pictures of her breasts! Very nice I might add. She wanted to show off her handy work- some surgical steel that was now one with her tender, swollen areolas. I was very excited for her. It all fell into place shortly after.... so we fast forward to that afternoon. We basically met without any preconceptions- lets just hang . Had a little lunch then I thought we could go to a local park and see a secluded area to chat. As we drove around for what seemed am eternity making small talk and looking for each other's openings came the question "So what line of work do you do when you are not taking nude pictures of women or writing debaucherous tales?"
  This is actually a pretty common question for me and I easily quipped "I am a boss at a national firm" <not exactly what I said but I am still using a wee bit of discretion!> She answered that she had thought I had said that and asked which one. Ecitedly <like a fucking idiot> I chatted up my firm and its history. I basically did my elevator sales pitch. I looked at her and I kept seeing her recede further and further into her seat. She then began to laugh and asked if I knew a specific person who will remain nameless.......
  Yep sure did know her, she worked with a department I was very close to..."I know her well, probably saw her daily! Why you know her?"
  "Oh my God yes I do-- she is MY MOM!"
  To say that my life flashed in front of me is an understatement- the horror!!! I felt so vulnerable and exposed and this poor girl had bared her body to me on numerous occasions over the preceding weeks over cam, and in pictures she wanted me to edit for her. I knew her gorgeous nips like the back of my hand! But wait! i knew her mom almost as well!!!
  I don't think I have ever had a "date" go sour so fast! In the end we both promised to forget all about it..lol.. her mom had no idea of her daughter's newly found sexual identity and she made it clear mom did not need to know. We both made our promises and laughed as we said her goodbyes. I watched her as I dropped her off disappear in the waves of other college students and can only imagine her thoughts as she walked off. Thinking about the pathetic old man that she had just spent an afternoon with and how the world has a funny way of throwing curve balls!
  
  So has that slowed me down? Ehh well lets just say that I am now a "Bus Driver" when I meet anyone new! No business cards get passed out going forward!
  
  btw  if she reads this which I am sure she will-- thanks for a funny time and it was really nice getting to know you better!
  

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